Are you allowed to have any contact with a child when they are out of your care? For example, sending them a birthday card, etc.?
Before I answer today’s question, I just want to say that I can’t believe it’s already day 20!! If you’ve been with me the whole, or even part of the way, I want to say thanks!
We, personally, have not had any contact with a foster child once they have left our home, mainly because of the length of time that they were with us.
Regardless of how much time they spend with us, it is always hard to see them go. If I could keep in touch with each one of them, I absolutely would. However, there are times where that may not be the healthiest of situations. I can understand that, and I can respect it.
I do know of others that have kept in touch, though. Just like those families who form a bond with the biological family, there are fond memories of the child being in care. If a biological family can look at a foster family and say, “I’m so glad they were there for my child when I couldn’t be,” then it is absolutely appropriate to retain that relationship, from weekly dinners to yearly birthday cards.
However, there are times when a biological family works very hard to provide proper care for their children, and would look back on the time in foster care as a shameful time, and continuing a relationship would only be opening old woulds. I would never intentionally cause that by trying to keep in touch.
Ultimately, I would lean on the case worker to facilitate any progressing relationship with the biological family, and I would respect their wishes, whatever they were.